The Illusion Of Control
Control is an illusion. It’s the idea that you only have power over your life because of your decisions and subsequent actions. I learned this was wrong after years of struggling with self-control and trying to be a different person. We do this to fit into the world or to achieve something. You can work hard all day, resist temptations, and make all the right choices. But you can still fail miserably if you don’t understand this truth about life.
Don’t be discouraged by this, because I have been there. I have learned how to live a better life by not letting others into my head. The world wants you to believe that everything is out of your control. Your mind and most people’s efforts are there to convince you of this. When you don’t listen to them, the only thing that matters in life is how much you enjoy it. Control is inappropriate when considering these things.
You do not have to win every battle to win the war. You can’t always control every situation. Nor can you force someone to love you or change your environment completely. But you can learn how to deal with it if things don’t work out how you would like. Drop expectations and embrace possibilities. In time you will find that you can do more than you are doing now.
Live In The Present
You can only live in the present – forget the past and don’t worry about the future. If you act now, then it will lead to other actions in life. You cannot control your next step. And sometimes, when we try too hard, we make things worse. So, observe when these occasions occur but don’t overthink beforehand.
When you make a change, it’s helpful to understand that you will never win every battle. If you did, you would become bored by life and always be looking for another challenge. It’s like fighting a war – you are never going to win it. When you fight something, it fights back. Instead of fighting, we can learn to accept that things will change. And we can allow life to move on naturally. There can be absolute joy in observing the outcomes. Going with them rather than fighting every step of the way can be so rewarding.
We can influence the future by acting in the present. Being the master of your destiny by following your desire is like going on a walk you have never been on before. It is one where you can see the wonder around you at every step you take. Spinoza said, ‘The whole universe is the manifestation of thought.’
Understanding is Everything
When you understand that control is an illusion, you realize that your actions and thoughts are the only things you can control. You can adequately control these by being present in every moment of your life. You cannot always control nature, but you can learn to live with it. If you face something that you don’t like, then accept it and move on with joy.
Learn to say no to things that you don’t want to do. You can only do so much, and at some point, you have to say enough is enough. It doesn’t make you a bad person or a failure. Instead, it makes you more likable as you are kinder and more thoughtful towards yourself. This way, you can be authentic towards others as well as yourself. If you feel stuck in life, then remember there is always a way out. Ask yourself what it might be?
Letting Go Of Control
You cannot control anything as everything happens as it does and could never happen in any other way. But if you organize some small area around you or perform some behavior with no goal other than doing it for yourself. This act can give you the illusion of control. We all like to feel in control. But sometimes we must face the fact that nothing is under our control, and that’s OK.
You can’t stop things from changing; you can only adapt to change as it happens. You don’t have to worry because you cannot avoid change. It will happen anyway – so why resist?
To achieve peace, observe what you do want. Self-observation is less likely to take you into fear. When you think negatively and are in fear, you focus on what you don’t want. That focus on the negative and judging everything negatively is being in the world of inadequacy.
Just as a wise person does not make judgments and instead makes observations, we cannot judge. We don’t know the context in which someone decides. It’s like judging someone for cutting off in traffic. They might be unaware of what is around them at the time because of some internal conflict. If you make efforts to understand yourself, what goes on outside you is less significant. You will be less dependent on judging others for your expectation of their responses.